Have you ever tried to get into a private club when you're not a member? It doesn't work too well, even if you do get past the bouncer! When we feel like we are on the outside, even when we're in a group, we don't have a great sense of belonging. Sometimes when you're not the same generation as others in a community, it can feel as though you're an outsider. Today, we're focusing on Intergenerational Connectedness.
This teaching follows the teaching, Positive Interactions.
In that session we talked about the importance of positive interactions as a characteristic of intergenerational community, and we looked at it in practice.
As a recap, there are five characteristics in all that determine the quality of intergenerationality: Positive Interactions, Connectedness, Interdependence, Accommodation, and Empowerment.
For the next few seminars, we’ll be looking at these five characteristics in more depth.
Today we’re looking at Connectedness.
For a community to be intergenerational, there needs to be a sense of belonging among the different generations despite their differences.
A sense that an individual has that they are a part of something much bigger than themselves.
It’s sort of like what the concept of family is.
Now while there may be some who have not had a good experience with family, thinking about what family is supposed to be is what I’d like you to think about.
I’ve heard some people refer to the people in their workplace as family.
I’ve heard it said about people who feel belonging at their church.
It’s even been said in gangs – in fact, their sense of belonging is why people usually choose to be part of a gang, even though they are often involved in criminal ventures.
It’s this sense that even though a group of people have their differences, and don’t always see eye to eye – they look out for each other.
If one gets attacked, the others rush to defend them.
If one celebrates some kind of achievement, the whole group celebrates with them.
It is this sentiment of Connectedness that is a necessary characteristic of an intergenerational community.
In fact, you could say that Connectedness is what makes any kind of community a community.
If people in a group do not feel as though they are accepted by the greater group – it’s hard to be loyal isn’t it?
Now, you may have noticed that there is something similar about Positive Interactions and Connectedness – and your right.
One builds upon the other.
You can’t have Connectedness unless the positive interactions you’ve had with people have been frequent enough and deep enough.
Just talking about the weather every week is not going to connect you with someone.
For you to have a sense of belonging or connectedness with other people, there needs to be enough interaction as well as, meaningful interaction.
When that gets to a good place, Connectedness occurs.
It reminds me of a workplace I had for one year – yes, one year.
You’ll know why I only stayed in it for a year by the time I tell the experience.
I was a teacher at this large school who was asked to teach in an area that wasn’t really my speciality or passion – so that probably didn’t help.
But what made it difficult there was that, most of the people in that community didn’t really take the time to build any connection with me.
I always had to approach them to try to chat, rarely the other way around.
And the conversations were usually shallow with no depth.
Even though I was a teacher, I felt like I was a new student in high school trying to survive.
No one had my back, no one noticed if I stayed or left – there was no room for me aside from fulfilling my responsibilities.
People were surprised when I chose to leave at the end of the year, they couldn’t figure out why…
If they had only bothered to make me feel at home, they probably would at least know how I was feeling in that workspace.
On the other hand, there have been places I worked which when I had to move, it was really hard – because I had felt so connected to the people in that environment.
Regardless of whether we’re talking about a church community, a workplace, or neighbourhood – unless people feel Connectedness, it’s not really going to thrive.
Even more so for an intergenerational community.
The fact that you have a lot of diversity in a community, which means a lot of different perspectives, means that it’s even more important that everyone feels Connected.
It’s the Connection that keeping an intergenerational community together in the first place.
So, what can be done to build and increase the characteristic of Connectedness in an intergenerational space?
Building upon what we discussed regarding Positive Interactions, in providing spaces and times – we need this to happen, but on a deeper level.
And quite likely in a smaller sense.
You’re more likely to create Connectedness through deep conversations with one or two people.
So, giving opportunities for people to get to know one another in a deeper sense helps a lot.
But other ways involving bigger groups can be done through informal interviews and testimony times.
For example, when everyone is gathered for an event or a service, have someone interviewing either one person or a group of people from different generational or culture backgrounds in a public space.
This gives people listening the chance to hear someone else’s story – which helps with empathising with people who may have a different life experience.
Or even have opportunities for testimonies, either in a traditional sense in a religious gathering or in a ‘tell us about yourself’ opportunity in a workspace.
When we learn about other people’s journeys, especially when they are different to our own, it helps those listening find commonality.
We learn why they view the world differently to us – even if we don’t agree with their viewpoint, it helps us appreciate why the person sees things that way.
We need to learn as a society that we don’t need to agree with someone to respect them, or even to become friends with them.
We’ll get into that more in our next session, which is on the characteristic of Interdependence.
I hope you’ll join us then.
I’m Dr. Joe Azzopardi, helping you unite the generations.
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