Imagine the scene of a church filled for a service, with everyone in attendance dressed in formal attire. However, as the service is about to start a homeless woman wearing tattered jeans and a crop-top walks in to join the group.
How will the community respond?
Will they make room for the young lady or ask her to come back when she has dressed for the occasion?
This scenario highlights the importance of accommodation, a crucial aspect of intergenerational relationships that we'll explore today.
In the vibrant mosaic of intergenerational relationships, Accommodation emerges as a crucial thread, weaving together the diverse experiences and perspectives of different age groups. Today, we delve into the essence of accommodation and its profound impact on fostering unity and harmony among generations.
As a quick recap, there are five characteristics of intergenerational communities; positive interactions, connectedness, interdependence, accommodation, and empowerment. Having discussed the first three as the relational foundations of intergenerational community, we now turn towards the last two which could be described as inclusive practices of such communities. In this teaching, we will focus on Intergenerational Accommodation.
Accommodation, in the context of intergenerational communities, refers to the willingness and ability of different generations to adapt, adjust, and make room for each other's needs, preferences, and perspectives. Accommodation is the cornerstone of understanding and respect among generations, particularly thinking about the diverse perspectives and opinions that each one holds. It enables communities to embrace diversity, leading to more inclusive and cohesive environments where each generation feels valued and understood.
This specific characteristic is probably the one out of the five that is the biggest stumbling block. In fact, it’s the premise of many films and series, where the main character is different to everyone else is desperately trying to fit in.
It’s funny when we watch it in a comedy, but sadly it’s a reality that has the potential to destroy communities.
It’s the tension between doing what’s comfortable and traditional, versus something that is different and therefore uncomfortable.
One common misconception, particularly in religious communities, is that accommodation entails compromising one's beliefs. However, it's crucial to distinguish between the two. While compromising involves finding a middle ground by giving up something, accommodation centres on acceptance and flexibility without forsaking one's values. It's about creating space for different perspectives to coexist harmoniously.
Accommodation involves accepting or allowing for diverse points of view without necessarily changing one's own stance. It's a recognition that there are various ways of doing things around the world, and one's preferred approach shouldn't dictate how others choose to act.
Without accommodation, communities risk facing conflicts, misunderstandings, and division. Failure to accommodate can lead to generational silos, hindering the exchange of ideas and experiences. This is why accommodation is an integral characteristic of intergenerational community; a community cannot be intergenerational without it.
When accommodation is practiced, intergenerational communities flourish. There is a sense of belonging for all generations, fostering a culture of learning and innovation.
So, what are some things that can be done to improve Accommodation?
This is where having a culture of Positive Interactions is necessary.
There needs to be active listening and respectful conversation taking place so people can try to see things from other people’s perspectives.
Asking reflection questions, like:
“What is the worldview that that person has?”
“Are they aware of why our community often does what we do?”
Or,
“If they are aware, why is it so important for that person to do something that’s different?”
There’s obviously something that’s highly valuable to someone if they risk being different.
I remember a church I attended where the worship style and music choices were extremely progressive.
And yet, I found an elderly couple there in attendance who preferred a much more traditional church.
I asked them why they chose to go there when there were other options around.
They responded with, “We don’t really like the music, or how they go about things here. But we enjoy being where there are younger people. Our grandkids are here, and we see how they are more likely to connect with God the way they do church here than where we would choose to go. So even though we’d like it if they were more traditional, we value the young people, and we can see that it helps with their spiritual journey.”
This elderly couple didn’t compromise what they personally believed.
They thought the old ways were better.
However, they chose to be where they could see young people connecting with God.
Because for them, helping young people connect with God was more important than their choice in music.
Whether we’re talking about a workplace debating whether to provide onsite childcare for their workers, or a church discussing leadership approaches – accommodation is trying to do what’s best according to achieving the mission, rather than following what’s the norm.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes what traditionally happens is better for the mission.
There are some things that should not take place in your community, because it does prevent the community’s mission from taking place.
But for the sake of those within a community, putting people before policy or norms is usually best practice.
As we navigate the complexities of intergenerational relationships, let us remember that accommodation is not just about tolerance; it's about genuine acceptance and appreciation for the richness that each generation brings. By practicing accommodation, we can create communities where every voice is heard and every generation is valued.
And the idea that every voice is heard and valued is a good transition to the next teaching on the last characteristic: Empowerment.
Join us as we continue our journey towards greater unity, understanding, and cooperation across generations.
I’m Dr. Joe Azzopardi, helping you unite the generations.
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